those days

still.

i hate that nights like these still haunt me
despite moments of resoluteness

it's not fair.

i’m struggling to find the in between

i’m giving up talking about it
(sometimes i’m ashamed of my thoughts.
i write them somewhere where nobody could read them.
because to be honest, sometimes i think i am really as strong as i wanna be
but sometimes, i act stronger than i really am.)

doesn’t make a difference, does it?

when will this be over?

Better than before

I can’t believe how quick I’m recovering.
And I’m amazed that ‘what goes around comes around’ would apply to us.

love scar

just like any other bruises

it starts with a stinging pain
and gets unbearable on contact
you don’t know whether to bare it all
or to cover it up with a bandage

then as it tries to heal
there are moments you itch and you want to scratch it
but you refrain, because you know it’ll only get worse
especially if you’ve been making progress

but as they say
time heals everything.
pain will disappear.
just be patient and persevere.
you do have natural healing powers.

some email

"When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said: 'Baby, I love burned toast.'

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, 'Debbie, your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!' You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook.

What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of GOD. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!! "

life goes on

and it gets more exciting.

to do list:

- find out what kinds of jobs are available in NZ and UK, when is a good time to head over
- decide on dates and location for diving in september, plus find khakis!
- find 1 x female khaki for BKK end october
- financial planning! about time…
- plan more holidays. hahahah…

解脱

张惠妹

爱是不夜城
回忆像星辰
热泪越沸腾
我越感觉有点冷

变了心的人
越想越伤人
枯坐到清晨
阳光替房间开了灯

想 若结局一样
又何苦再想
想 若让人成长
我为什么怕分手的伤

解脱 是肯承认这是个错
我不应该还不放手
你有自由走 我有自由好好过
解脱 是懂擦干泪看以后
找个新方向往前走
这世界辽阔
我总会实现一个梦

心里有一种渴望勇敢的念头
不要爱我的人再担心我