Torn, Natalie Imbruglia

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm
He came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry

Well you couldn't be that man that I adored
You don't seem to know or seem to care
what your heart is for
I don’t know him anymore

There's nothing where he used to lie
Our conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine
I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune teller's right
I should have seen just what was there
and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins and now

I don't care I have no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
that I can't touch
I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
Torn

FAQ

I’ve had wayyy too many people asking me these questions! It’s not a pain to hear these questions, really. It’s nice to know that people are interested. But it’s quite a pain to answer them over and over again. So here it is. The answers you’ve been looking for. Haha.

Please still talk to me, I really don’t mind. I mean, I would love to talk to you guys! Just that this is so much easier than repeating myself again and again.


What are you planning to do after you quit?
Bum around, hang loose, hopefully travel a bit. Will still be part-timing & freelancing so that I still have a bit of income, so if anyone has any temporary job openings, please let me know! Thank you.

So what’s been planned so far?
Gold Coast, Australia, late Nov to early Dec for a week or two. With a bunch of 11-12 year old kids. Should be fun, I hope.
Hopefully Cambodia with Yang in January is still going through. Anyone else wants to tag along?
Might be going to Shanghai for about 6 days as well… Shopping trip I think. Not too sure when yet. November?

When are you leaving for New Zealand? How long are you staying there for?
After CNY, which is in February, so that I can collect angpows first. Haha. Planning to get a pick-apples kinda job there. Just to experience living in a foreign country, have fun and relax. Hopefully I’ll come back in June?

Anything else lined up after NZ?
Am considering heading to Sweden to look for Huihui(W) in July, but haven’t given it much thought in detail. Will see if I still have enough money left to bum around till then.

What happens after that?
I guess by then it’s about time I took myself and my life seriously.

breathe

it’s been a chill day at home
and for once i don’t feel like it’s a waste of time.
snoozed most of it, tv-ed, movie-d.
perhaps because i know i’m definitely not in the shape to be out and about
thanks to cable ski and soccer yesterday.

having awful muscleaches all over, and i really mean all over.
neck’s the worst, and my arms, thighs, back, waist, shoulders are aching as well.
but no pain, no gain!
i had lots of fun so i’m happyyyy despite the pain. :)
cable ski is fun and i wanna go again! need practice!
anybody?

i finally watched twilight!
i can’t tell if it’d be nice if i hadn’t read the book..
but now that i have, i think the movie is like rushed through and kinda weird that some parts are linked together when they’re not supposed to…
inevitable.
kirsten stewart really does grow on you, but my impression of bella would be a lot paler and weak-looking? kirsten steward has the natural sporty girl look, imo.
robert pattinson has charm, not all that goodlooking, but yes, charming. i think he looked better as cedric in harry potter though.  

am the driver tomorrow!
sheesh, am really going to suffer with the steering wheel and gear cause of my muscleaches. haha!
after tomorrow, i’m left with just 2 last weekends.
hmmm. am going to miss everything.
it’s become my life already…

well, i can finally breathe.
the past week has been.. good, in a way.
i had space to think, to realise, to logic.
and i know now exactly what i want.


note to self:
know what you want, hold on to it tight, and don’t settle for 2nd best. :)

full stop.

i hope the rollercoaster ride is over.

whatever happened, i’m done getting hurt over and over again.
but i don’t want to hold the anger anymore. i’m going to let it(anger) go and let it(hurt) stop.
there are so many people around me who suffered looking at me suffer, and these are the people who are well worth my time and my gratitude, and i will not forget these people. i really have lots to thank and remember.

i plan to be happy for a long time. i want to be happy with myself. nobody else is in charge of my happiness but myself.
i want to know it in my bones that i like the person in the mirror.
doesn’t matter if some people don’t give me the respect i deserve, because first of all, it starts with me respecting myself.
i want to be able to respect this person staring back at me.
and it doesn’t matter if i can’t control situations, like right now.
but i will control my emotions and actions.
i will be the sensible one.

this is who i am. what i am proud to be.

those days

still.

i hate that nights like these still haunt me
despite moments of resoluteness

it's not fair.

i’m struggling to find the in between

i’m giving up talking about it
(sometimes i’m ashamed of my thoughts.
i write them somewhere where nobody could read them.
because to be honest, sometimes i think i am really as strong as i wanna be
but sometimes, i act stronger than i really am.)

doesn’t make a difference, does it?

when will this be over?

Better than before

I can’t believe how quick I’m recovering.
And I’m amazed that ‘what goes around comes around’ would apply to us.