Clients from Hell

I would like a picture of a businessman parachuting in through the window into a meeting, do you have that type of photograph?

Client: You see where you have a full stop at the end of the first sentence?
Me: Yes.
Client: Can you change it to a comma?
Me: Er, well I can, but you should put a full stop at the end of a sentence.
Client: Oh, that grammar stuff is very old fashioned.

Can you make it red, but not red, you know? And maybe try a primary color, like green.

Client: I want you to do a 3-minute animation for my website. It’s okay if it’s in Flash. How much is that?

Me: That depends, what did you have in mind exactly?

Client: Well, I don’t know. It depends on how much it costs.

Me: The price depends on how complex the designs are, if there is any level of interactivity, if I have to get licensed music, if there is voiceover, etc.

Client: I’m just asking how much 3 minutes of animation is. I don’t know what I want.

Me: Well, the most basic designs start at $3,000 and more complex designs are upwards of $20,000.

Client: WHAT? I thought it would be like $100. I told you, you can do it in Flash.

Me: That’s how much Flash animation costs.

Client: Bullshit. I know Flash does all the animation for you.

Client: We like the design, but could you make the blues all the same.

Me: It’s the same blue through out the design.

Client: It looks like different blues.

Me: That’s because colors are perceived differently dependent on neighboring colors.

Client: That’s stupid.

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