my papa

he’s gone to a better place
somewhere free from pain.

he will have the best afterlife
because he was really a great great man.
and i’m not just saying that because he’s my father. he really, really was.
everyone sang his praises.
not a single person would have anything negative to say about him, other than that he was way too generous and he talked too little back then.
and i’m so proud of him, so proud to be his daughter.

it was just way too sudden and unexpected
he was young and generally healthy
and you just don't expect these things to happen to yourself.

regrets i have a few
i had such a great man next to me all these while
but i never really got to know him
and i never spent enough time with him
nor have i taken any photos with him since i grew up
and i haven’t been the daughter that he deserved to have.

i could go on complaining
but i won't.

take heart in knowing that this has ended the best possible way.
everything was perfect, albeit in a morbid way
he didn’t suffer prolonged pain- it wasn’t an illness that put him on medication or kept him bedridden for months
but he hung on long enough for loved ones to see him one last time.
and he heard what he needed to hear to pass on worry-free.

papa…
thank you for everything
everything you’ve done for the past 3 decades were for us.
i’m so sorry i can’t take care of you like you did us
but i will try to live my life the way you would be proud of me too. 

i never did say it when you were around, but papa, i love you.
rest in peace.