denial

It gets unbearable sometimes
And this feeling is becoming more and more apparent everyday.
I close my eyes and I see his smiling face
I open my eyes and realise its not just a nightmare
And I know I'll never get to see him again

I want to run away and leave this pain behind
But I'm scared to leave my memories of him behind as well
I'm beginning to think I'm incapable of healing
I can't take losing loved ones..
I really can't.

He's really gone. My father. Really gone forever.
Everyday when I get home i glance in his room, hoping to see him lying in bed, taking me back to reality.
But now its stacks of documents in his place... Now that's reality.

Funny how these vulnerabilities disappear in the day when I'm surrounded by people.
Funny how I crumble when I'm all alone and wish I had someone to hug me tight right then.