The best

Most people I observe,
have the tendency to want to connect to people.

I think I don't. I think I shut new people out a lot.

But when I think about it, I realise that it maybe because I'm satisfied by the ones I already have a connection with, thus not bothering / wanting / needing new additions to my circle of trusted companions.

I would like to think, I already have the best.

Thin line

between stubborn and having a mind of your own
between fickle-minded and open-minded
between stupid and trusting
between stoical and logical
between insensitive and rational
between squandering and enjoying life
between addiction and indulgence
between self-centred and self-protective
between obsession and passion

and many more.

Tired

Realised that I've been extremely short fused lately.
Can't stand it.

Perhaps I need a break.
I need to disappear for a while.

I think I might have developed a love-hate feeling towards this job.
I need to stop this obsession with my work!

Annoyed!

It's so irritating that clients expect you to be checking your emails on a weekend for their event that's happening next weekend, or just tomorrow.

Hello? We can't be at two places at one time. You want us to run the party for you, and you want us to check our emails at the very same time one week before. Can't you just freaking wait till Monday?!

I could really use some considerate and understanding clients.

Harry Potter Mania

Finished reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
NEED TO READ THE DEATHLY HALLOWS... NOW!
I should pop by the library tomorrow. Yes.

I have a plan.

To leave my current job at the end of the year.
Perhaps I'll bum around, freelance for a couple of months, and head to New Zealand for a couple of weeks in February.
And then I'll head to the States and stay with my aunt for a few months, and try to find a job within the vicinities.
And then in June 2010, I'll head back home on the same flight as my aunt ;)

It's all in my head, and I'll see the turn out of things towards the last quarter of the year.
It's all very exciting!

Crush

The thrill of the uncertainty
The addiction of the tiniest rewards
The excitement in the chase
simply blinds you, confuses you, with what you really want
Flaws ignored and merits magnified
That's how we all fall for the wrong people, isn't it?

I was unbelievably close to getting together with someone whom I used to yearn unbelievably badly, yet at the final moment, I unbelievably pushed away.


Unbelievable, huh?

The Past

Found an old diary of mine
And it's amazing the things I wrote,
The feelings I felt
for people, and for the things that were going on in my life
just 3 years ago.

To say it's 'so far away' is an understatement.

Reading those lines brings back memories, sure they do
But I don't even feel a tinge of it.
I look into my heart and I don't wonder where those feelings have gone...
Instead, I ask what the hell has gotten into me then!?

The grass is so green now.

Anyway, quite surprisingly, I did come up with some musings that made lots of sense.
Somehow they've just been forgotten, or maybe they haven't, just that the exact words haven't surfaced in my mind since then.

Shall be posting them here some time, bit by bit.

(from someone you love, of course!)

because

http://xwenx.livejournal.com/76550.html

 

Sometimes there's so much to rant,
but when the content becomes more than necessary,
stories are distorted and issues are blown out of proportion.

Sometimes escaping seems the best option,
because escaping the situation equals escaping the negative emotions
and there's a sense of zen, a sense of independence, a sense of relief.

Sometimes I just want to stop thinking, stop wondering, stop having to decide.
I want to get on with my life.
Sometimes you take the harder way out,
because you don't want to be taken granted for, you don't want to be a silly girl.

Sorry really does seem to be the hardest word. for you.

I am okay. I'm just feeling emo, so don't ask.